I have always had vivid dreams, in full colour, with lots of details. In the first 4 months after I sobered up, I dreamed even more than usual. Lots of crazy and weird dreams. Lots of going over what happened in my drinking and drugging days, with strange twists and odd combinations of people. If I could go back to when I first sobered up, I would try and write a dream journal because there were a lot of challenging situations and long-time hurts that I was processing in my dreams.
But it was not fun going through it. Lots of tough stuff came up, lots of nightmares, remembering hard things and bad situations. In those times, I just had to “let go and let God,” to trust in my Higher Power to get me through, to restore me to sanity.
And then there were the drinking dreams. I remember the first night it happened. It was only a couple of months after I stopped drinking and using. I woke up in the morning with a vivid memory of going out and drinking the night before. I remembered the bar we went to (one of my old favourites, of course). I knew which friends were with me. I remembered lifting the glasses, the smells, the noises. That morning when I woke up, I was so scared!
So I took a deep breath, and thought it through. What I had for dinner the night before. What I did right after supper. What I saw on TV that night. What I read before I went to sleep. And then I knew for sure: it had been a dream, not a reality. I had not slipped (a “slip” is when you take a drink or use after sobering up). I had just dreamt about it. I was so relieved and so grateful that I had not taken a drink!